Article:
How to beat those Valentine's Day blues
by Roslyn Franken
Valentine’s
Day is here with all its commercial grandeur of chocolate hearts, fine dining, red roses,
cards and other gifts of love and romance. However, with all its magic, it can also be a
time of heartache for couples when expectations go unmet or of deep loneliness for
singles aching for the romance missing from their lives. Whether attached or single, this
can be a challenging time especially for those of you who turn to food for comfort from
the kind of emotional heartache and pain felt by many at this time of year. Here are some tips on how to beat the
Valentine’s Day blues.
SOME TIPS FOR IF
YOU'RE ATTACHED:
Don’t expect
your mate to read your mind
BEFORE
February 14th, sit down with your mate and share each other’s expectations
for how you want to celebrate this holiday as a couple. If you’re expecting special
gifts and a night of romance, then let your partner know what you wish for and
how important this is to you. If there’s something specific you want, tell your mate.
Don’t expect your mate to read your mind and automatically know what you want and how
meaningful this day is to you. Otherwise you may be hurt and disappointed when your mate
fails to buy you a gift or live up to your expectations.
You
may prefer that you didn't have to spell things out to your mate, wishing that if
only he or she could just know what to do, or what to buy for you on their own.
However, if that's what you've done in the past and it has repeatedly left you hurt
and disappointed, then perhaps it's time to try a new approach.
A
little communication can go a long way to save you this type of heartache that can send
you straight to the fridge or cupboard for your favourite unhealthy comfort foods, or
over-indulging at meal time.
Keep things in a
healthy perspective
Not buying you a gift doesn’t necessarily
mean your mate doesn’t love you. Perhaps your partner doesn't believe in Valentine's
Day and instead prefers to demonstrate his or her love for you year round. Or maybe
your partner doesn’t realize how happy it would make you to receive that special
gift, card or romantic attention. Perhaps if he or she understood how much it means
to you and the acts of gratitude and appreciation he or she may receive in return, he or
she would gladly go the extra mile to give you what you want.
The
important thing is to communicate your needs and expectations and come to a shared
understanding. This way feelings may not get hurt and the health of your relationship may
not be compromised. If you struggle with food and weight issues, this is especially
important to your weight control efforts, because when you're unsatisfied in your
relationship, you may feed your lack of love and joy with food. The resulting weight gain
may make you feel even more undeserving of your mate's love and affection. By
continuing to feed this void with food, you are perpetuating the unhealthy cycle of weight
gain and quick fix dieting.
TIPS FOR IF
YOU'RE SINGLE:
Focus on the love
you already have in your life
Instead
of over-focusing on what you feel is missing from your life, turn your thinking over to
all the wonderful things you already have. Focus on appreciation and gratitude instead for
all the love you already have around you. Get a group of family or and/or friends together
and go out for a special dinner or do a fun social activity. If you have other single
friends, then invite them as they too may not wish to be alone on this day.
Indulge
Give
YOURSELF a gift of love such as a day at the spa or some cheerful flowers. If you’re
trying to control your weight and want to try your hand at portion control, then spoil
yourself with the best high quality dark chocolate you can find or whatever your favourite
treat might be. Give yourself permission to enjoy a small portion and truly taste and
savour every mouthful. Just be careful not to over-indulge. Instead of buying a whole box
of chocolate, choose a few very special chocolates and stick to those. That way you
won’t have the whole box there to tempt you.
Whether
single or attached, keep things in perspective. This is only one day in the year so to
avoid the Valentine’s Day blues, plan ahead, communicate with your partner, celebrate
the love you do have and have some fun!
Roslyn Franken is
a proud cancer survivor and acclaimed author of The A List: 9
Guiding Principles for Healthy Eating and Positive Living and Death Can Wait: Stories from Cancer Survivors. She is a motivational speaker and host of the How to Thrive after 35 internet radio
show. Roslyn also offers one-on-one
coaching by telephone and email conveniently accessible world-wide. For more
information, send email to info@roslynfranken.com
or visit www.roslynfranken.com.
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You may use this article, but only if you clearly include this
complete statement with it:
Roslyn
Franken is author of The A List: 9 Guiding
Principles for Healthy Eating and Positive Living. She is a Weight Loss Coach and
Motivational Speaker on positive living solutions for positive results for greater health,
success and quality of life. She hosts How to
Thrive After 35 Internet Talk Radio and is co-author of Death Can Wait: Stories from Cancer Survivors.
Diagnosed
with cancer at age 29, Franken fought back to become a long-term cancer survivor. Then at
age 39, at her heaviest weight ever, and concerned for her health, she decided to fight
back once again, only this time to overcome her battles with food and weight once and for
all.
Roslyn
owns Roslyn Franken Group, committed to helping people lighten up their lives one bite at
a time by reaching and maintaining a healthy weight, balanced lifestyle, and positive
outlook.
For
more information, visit www.roslynfranken.com
or view her video at http://www.roslynfranken.com/highlights.wmv
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